xl2

just saw a commercial for x-men legends 2... use x-men and brotherhood to battle apocolypse... must, own, this, game...

in other news, posters are up on the walls now... thank you again, mr. dantoni, for charlie and fantasic 4... i'll take pictures like jf did and post them sumplace later, perhaps when rob's not around and wouldn't sit there wondering why i'm taking pictures of the room...



in other, other news, i feel i'm slipping... i've lost most motivation to do my work, to even get up for classes... i went home this weekend, i'm going home again next weekend, and down to maryland the following... i really don't want to do either next weekends... i mean, it'll be fine and all, but i really feel like it's draining, and, it shouldn't be...

i decided the other night, maybe two nights ago, that i'm afraid of dying... sitting laone in the dark, you think you hear footsteps or whatever, and you get afraid, because you don't want to be hurt by the unknown, or worse, you don't wanna die from it... but then, last night, i was thinking, that i've never left the east coat in my life... and, there's so much that i don't do, because i'm afraid... i'm afraid of any sort of change, and what is life if not changes? just, constant changes... so, the way i see it, i'm afraid of living... so, what the hell's the point of being afraid of dying, when i'm afraid of living?... where does that leave me?... and i think, that's why i've been sleeping so much lately... i don't want to get up and face the world, but, i don't want to leave it completely... i'd rather close my eyes, knowing it's still there, doing it's thing, just, without me... time can stand still for me while the world changes, i think that's what my mind's trying to accomplish... which is bunk, but still, could be why i've been sleeping so much lately (sumthing sarah commented on before spanish class today)...

honestly, i'm very depressed when left to my own devices... that is to say, sitting here alone, just me and my thoughts (and rob, but he doesn't count), i'm very depressed... and the things is, sumtimes, even when with people i'm depressed lately... and while i can see how being alone with a mind like mine can be depressing, well, when i'm with people, that's usually what picks me up, y'kno?... i dunno, i've just been very depressed as of late, and i feel myself slipping more and more, what with the lack of motivation and the sleeping more, trying to escape life...

i know, i'm very stupid, i mean, i have a great life and all, it could be a hell of a lot worse... i mean, i'm at college, i have a bunch of friends and people who care about me... i don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from, or when; i don't have to work if i really didn't want to; i have a place to go home to every night, a bed to sleep in, three square meals, clothes to keep three dozen people warm or more... i see all of this stuph that i have, that i realize so many people are without, and still, i bitch, and complain, and feel this way...

there's just gotta be sumthing wrong in my head...


do me a favour, i'm gunna start making these all friends only soon, so if anyone wants to read my ramblings, just comment on this and i'll friend you, or if you don't have lj, IM me, i'll create one account, give everyone the pw, just let's me know who's reading this, y'kno?...